During my first visit I ask: “What results do you want to create in your life? What do you value most? What would you like your relationship to look like? How would you like to feel in your relationship?“ Though each individual has their own unique answer tailored to their particular life issue, the thread that seems to tie all human beings together is a longing for passion, a sense of being fully alive, a feeling that our juices are flowing, that may best be described as inner peace.
People, whether they are conscious of it or not, are longing to have a “felt” sense of connection. It is my belief that at the root of every discomfort, physic pain, loneliness, frustration and discontentment is a longing for connection, to feel seen, to have a voice that matters, to experience from their partner a genuine interest in knowing the deeper parts of me without judgment and disapproval. There is a longing for a kind of gentle curiosity to be known so that one’s truly authentic self can emerge.
My approach in providing therapy is a holistic one in which I want to help you to discover, own and integrate all the parts of your self that may have been overlooked, undervalued, judged or disempowered.
To do this work, I encourage you to take an active role in your growth and development. For transformation to occur, I work with you to uncover the truth that lies within so that the psyche is free to experience a fuller life. Your journey will take you to many interior neighborhoods.
We want to seek knowledge, deepen intuition, individuate from early shapings, take risks in self actualizing, explore meaningful introspection and equip oneself to deepen the capacity for our intimacy with another. To do so, we will likely examine self sabotaging behavior, limiting beliefs, attend to the care and feeding of a balanced and healthy body, pay attention to boundary disturbances, learn how to self soothe, replace dysfunctional communication with safe and effective methods, complete unfinished business, be in integrity with your core values and to reclaim your authentic self.
Between sessions I will encourage you to record their thoughts, journal, listen to their intuition, report on your observations and reactions, read books I suggest and reflect on your life stance.
The first criteria is the experiences and situations of our past are not forgotten but live in us in a different context than before. We recall our story but, over time, it has less of a hold on us.
The second criteria is we become more of an “observer” of our feelings, our reactions and our desires. Instead of “fusing” with the uncomfortable emotion that compels us to act, react or discharge a hurtful message, we now have a greater capacity to “contain” the harmful messages. We now have greater conscious access to holding the tension of these separate worlds while attempting to understand our partner through their lens.