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Are you tired of having the same fight going nowhere?


Are you and your partner stuck in a kind of "knee-jerk" reactivity at the first sign of disagreement?


Have you become discouraged that things never seem to change?


Have you and your partner grown apart fearing if it is even possible to get back to the loving connection you had in the beginning of your relationship?


Do you long to be listened to and properly understood?


Are you carrying around resentments that have prevented you from feeling deeply connected?

Imago Relationship Therapy

Are you tired of seeking couples counseling in which it ends up feeling like a dumping ground for all your resentments?  Do you feel like you're just saying the same old thing without any appreciable change? Imago Relationship Therapy is different and designed to bring about true change. I'm confident I can help.

It has been my experience that most couples talk about each other, talk across each other, talk at each other, talk through each other but rarely talk with each other to restore connection.  Often couples present with unresolved problems that have brought them a high degree of pain and hurt, struggling with a loss of connection with their partner. They describe feelings of discouragement, disappointment, anger, frustration and, at times, hopelessness with the ongoing, unrelenting pang of unrequited love. 

Though couples have reported that they do well in my presence, I have witnessed all too often that when they leave the confines of my office and go back to their respective homes, they faithfully regress to their respective defensive/protective postures.  Without being taught a new, easily accessed method of communicating, particularly in the heat of emotion, that is designed to replace their circular pattern, they return to old patterns. When triggered by their partner, their language degrades quickly to criticism, contempt, cold indifference, judgment, disapproval, passive aggressive comments and punishment. Their delivery is usually amped up several decibels or they become mute, cut off and stonewall.

My work is centered around teaching couples a way of speaking to each other when they are upset, hurt, frustrated or reactively triggered.  A "repair model" is taught that helps replace the argument and create a bridge into the inner world of the other.  Couples rather quickly learn how to "show up", be present, listen attentively and commit to creating a "safe" space where the defenses relax and healing and reconnection can take place. 

I refer to this method as a "safe meeting ground".  Within this space, both partners agree to suspend their judgments, their differences in perception, their opinions and their attachments to "being right".  Couples can only grow and mature in a climate of safety where they remain "open and curious" to the other.

Contact Me

I invite you to contact me for a brief, 30-minute complimentary consultation so that we may talk further and learn how I might be of help to you.  Please call me at  805.494.6635 or use the Contact Form below.

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